The Torment of James Buchanan Barnes
by sargebarnes1943
Summary: This was not at all how his life was supposed to end up. He had a normal life before this, he knew it. He had a girl...a girl? What was her name? Bucky was about to be tortured in the most vile ways possible, including dredging memories from his past to use against him. Would he be able to fight the Winter Soldier or made to give in?
1. Chapter 1

_I'm not entirely sure of exact months, so forgive me for not going into further research for that. I just wanted to basically get the years right. I haven't written fanfiction before. I just want to write something I would like to read, so let me know what you guys think! Thank you!_

May 1943

"Hey, doll," Bucky whispered low in Ellie's ear.

Ellie gasped and dropped the plate she was holding into the sink. "Don't do that!" she gasped. "You know I hate being scared."

Evelyn Wyse and Bucky had been dating for a little over six months. She had met him at a local bar she frequented on the weekends called Fosters. They had talked for over two hours at the bar together and that was it; they were inseparable. Ellie had successfully stopped Bucky's playboy days without even trying. He was enamored with her the second she smiled at him through those long lashes with those bright green eyes.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again. Ellie melted at the warm tone of his voice. He was instantly forgiven and she turned in his arms to place her arms around his neck. He smiled his crooked smile down at her and slowly leaned down to kiss her. "You look more beautiful every time I see you."

She laughed, "That's just old run around Bucky talking."

He feigned hurt by placing his hand over his heart. "Me?! I'd never use that on you, doll." He reached quickly behind her to give her butt a squeeze. She slapped him lightly on the shoulder.

"Mr. Barnes if I didn't know any better I would think you're still into those ways." She slipped deftly from his grasp and started putting the dishes away that she had laid out to dry.

"Marry me, Ellie," he stated to her backside. He could see her tense up as she slowly set the tea cup she had in her hand down.

"You can't be serious," she said barely above a whisper and without turning around.

"I can't be serious?" he asked.

"We've only been together six months. I thought moving in was a big deal for us at so short a time and now this?"

"You don't have to say yes or no yet. I'm just showing my feelings. You make me the happiest man alive, Ellie, and I would be damned if I let that go."

She smiled at his words and turned around to face him. She fixed her gaze to look up at his through her eyelashes. "I will, _but_ , on one condition," she said as she brought her finger up to his lips before he could celebrate her answer.

"Yes, anything," he said from around her finger.

"I get a puppy."

"That's it?" he asked skeptically.

"That's it. I've always wanted one and I figured now was a good a time as any to ask."

"Well, if I knew getting you to say yes would be this easy then I would have asked you a long time ago." He picked her up in his arms and swung her around the kitchen before placing her back on the floor and kissing her deeply. "You are going to make the happiest man."

"I thought you already were?" She was laughing happily with him. This was perfect and no one or anything was going to ruin this.

October 1943

Ellie looked at the sparkling ring on her finger closely. Bucky had just gotten it for her the month prior and she could not quit looking at it.

"If you keep staring at it that hard while we're outside you're going to blind yourself," Bucky laughed. He took her hand in his as they strolled through Central Park.

"I can't help it if it's beautiful."

"Hey guys!" a call came from behind. Steve was jogging towards them with a smile plastered across his face. Bucky placed his arm across Steve's shoulders as he drew closer.

"Hey! Did you call that girl we met last Saturday night?" Bucky asked him as he squeezed his shoulder.

Steve looked down guiltily before answering, "No…I don't think she was very taken with me."

"Lies!" Bucky cried. "She hung on to every word you said!"

Steve's cheeks turned a bright crimson.

"Bucky, leave him be. You know he's shy," Ellie said as she grabbed Bucky's hand from his shoulder and placed it back at his side. She drew Steve into a comforting hug before letting him go. "You'll find someone Steve," she smiled. "But only when you're ready." She shot a scathing glare in Bucky's direction, but he just shrugged his shoulders and gave her an innocent look.

"I was only helping out."

"Anyway, Steve, what are you up to today?" she asked, ignoring Bucky's comment.

"I was about to ask you the same. There is the Stark Expo tonight at Flushing Meadows and I was wondering if you guys would like to go?"

"You ship out tomorrow, Sergeant Barnes. Sound like something you would like to do?" Ellie asked him.

Thoughts of spending his last night with Ellie in his arms flashed through his head. He could always do that after the Expo, plus he wanted to be with his best friend on his last night.

"I don't see why not," he smiled.

"Excellent," said Steve. "I'll meet you guys there say, 7:30?"

"Sounds like a plan," Ellie said. She smiled and waved at him as he headed back the way he had come from.

"I'm going to miss that little guy," Bucky said with a hint of melancholy in his voice.

"Oh, not me then? I see." Ellie cast her eyes down in mock sadness. Bucky knew she was joking.

"You know it, baby doll."

That evening Flushing Meadows was lit up from corner to corner with promises of exhibits from the "future". Ellie was in awe as she clung to Bucky's arm and allowed herself to gawk at the exhibits. Bucky was in full uniform and looked as good as ever. Every now and then when she knew he wasn't looking she would gaze upon his face trying to remember every detail, from the quirk of his smile that brought up the corners of his mouth into a boyish grin to the sparkle in his deep blue eyes.

"Watcha looking at, miss?" Bucky had caught her staring off guard.

"Trying to remember everything about you."

"I'm coming back," he laughed, but she noticed the undertone in his voice. What if he didn't? She had tried to hide her fear from Bucky as best she could, but her façade was about to slip. She let a single tear drop from her left eye. Bucky caught her by the shoulders and pulled her into the dark space between two of the exhibits.

"Come on, Ellie," he pleaded desperately while wiping the tear with his thumb. He placed his hands on either side of her face as she let them freely fall now.

"I'm scared, Bucky."

"I am, too." He placed his hand behind her head and pulled her into his shoulder. He prayed she couldn't feel the hard beating of his heart as her head rested there. He needed to be strong for her and for himself. He felt her shoulders start to shake as she gave into the sobs. "Please don't cry."

"Bucky how can I help it?" she said as she lifted her head and spoke between sobs. "You're leaving tomorrow and you might not come back to me."

"Hey now, I have to come back. We have to get married remember?" He was grasping at straws here. He needed her to calm down or he was going to lose it, too, but the question only made her cry harder.

"We…should have…before you left."

He was hoping that by not marrying her before he left that it might keep him alive during the war. The world could not be so cruel as to kill a man before he can go home and marry the woman he loves, right? Suddenly, it all started feeling very real. He let his emotions get the better of him as he squeezed her harder tears pricked their way into his eyes.

"I'm sorry all of this had to be this way. I wish we were in simpler times."

Ellie calmed herself enough to look up at Bucky. "Maybe someday, soon, we'll have them."

"Of course…now let's go find Steve before he gets himself into trouble."

For the rest of the night, Bucky and Ellie tried to find comfort in each other and enjoying the grand scale of things at the Expo, while unsuccessfully keeping Steve out of the recruiting area. After warnings from Ellie about being arrested and Bucky threatening to throttle him, Steve felt it didn't hurt to try. Their evening at the Expo ended with leaving Steve at the entrance and the couple slowly walked home together.

"Promise me something, Ellie," Bucky said when they were finally home.

"Anything."

"If something _were_ to happen to me-"

"Bucky, nothing-"

"Hear me out. If something were to happen to me please don't mourn my death for the rest of your life. I want you to find happiness and comfort from those around you and if that means meeting someone new, do it. Don't live your life alone because of me."

She looked down sadly again before slowly shaking her head. "I promise, Buck."

Bucky was quick to grab her up in his arms. "Now, let's make this night worth remembering. I need something to think about on those long nights at the front."

He scooped her up bridal style and carried her, laughing, into their bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

_The next day_

Bucky woke up in the dim early hours of the morning and looked over to see Ellie sleeping deeply beside him. They had spent most of the night exploring one another. Bucky wanted to remember every plane of her body so that, in his dying moment if he were to have one, he could remember every part of the person he loved. She sighed in her sleep and he hoped she was dreaming of them on another day, in another year, together and happy. He brushed his fingers through her hair and down her face as she started to wake up.

"Good morning," he smiled.

"Good morning. What time is it?"

Bucky looked to the clock on the mantel. "Just about 5:30."

"I'll start making breakfast for you." She started to sit up in the bed.

"No, not yet," he said pushing her back down into the bed. "I want to look at you some more." He kissed her more deeply than he ever had before. He wanted the taste of her lips to never go away.

"I promise to come back," he whispered to her, nose to nose.

"In any way, shape, or form? I don't even care if you're missing a leg."

He laughed deeply then. "In any way, shape, or form."

"Good. Now move because I can't have you shipping off on an empty stomach."

They spent the rest of their short morning together moving in slow motion hoping that the clock would not go by any faster. Bucky let his hand graze across her back any time she moved close and made sure to watch her every move. The uncertainty of war was going to weigh on him in the coming months.

They made their way down to the docks as slowly as they had done their morning ritual. There were hundreds of people milling about; wives and children hugging husbands and fathers, parents saying goodbye to their children, and some just stood alone, waiting.

"Steve was supposed to be here," Bucky stated.

"Maybe he finally found a girl at the Expo. You'll see him when you get back." She was trying to be reassuring, but it was strange for Steve not to show up. "We'll write you, too."

"Every day?" he asked. She could see the desperation in his eyes. He was truly afraid now.

"I promise."

Many of the soldiers started boarding the ship that would bear them to England and then onwards from there to the front.

"I'll come back to you," he said one final time. He set his bag on the ground and gathered Ellie into the tightest hug he could manage. This time he didn't try to control the tears that came to his eyes.

"You better," she smiled through the tears. She would let him see her cry, but she would be as strong as she could until he got onto that boat.

"I love you, with all of my heart, Ellie."

"I love you, too, James Barnes."

He kissed her like he would never kiss her again. His hand went to the back of her head and gathered her hair into his hand possessively. She brought her hand up to the back of his neck in much the same fashion. He would miss this. He would miss her. He would miss everything.

"Stay good, Ellie."

"Stay good, Buck."

With that, he grabbed his bag quickly. There was no time to dawdle or he would break down and it would be even harder to leave. Once on board, he pushed passed several waving soldiers and to the front of the boat. He waved at Ellie until he could wave no more and didn't leave the front of the ship until he could no longer see the dock. Sadness crept into his heart, but also warmth of knowing Ellie was waiting for him. He prayed the war would end soon after his arrival, but he knew life wouldn't be that easy.

Ellie spent the next day trying to keep herself busy. Her next goal was to find a job to help with the war effort until it was over and she could have Bucky back in her arms.

She had begun to feel uneasy every time she tried to look for Steve. He wasn't at home when she stopped by and with him having no family left and not really many friends, she was desperate for any leads she could get. She stopped by a diner he frequented on Saturday mornings and the waitress there hadn't seen him for days. The police station was not very helpful either; they were too caught up in war news and murders that they weren't very worried about a missing person's case. They told her they would try the best they could and sent her on her way. She wrote to Bucky, but never once mentioned to him about how she couldn't find Steve. He was worried enough about his own life that he didn't need to worry about his best friend as well.

Four weeks after Bucky left, Ellie was making her way down to the corner market when a tussle on the street caught her attention. A man in a suit ran right past her and while she was looking, another man in a white shirt and tan pants ran past her as well. She only got a second glance at his side profile, but she was almost positive the second man was Steve. It couldn't be though. This man was much taller and had more weight in muscle than Steve had in his whole body. Street fights were not uncommon in this part of town, so she didn't think anything of it until a sharply dressed woman ran by holding a gun. This was definitely strange. She walked in the direction they went in, but didn't make any effort in catching up. After about thirty minutes of walking and deciding to give up she turned a corner and ran right into the muscled chest of the man in the white shirt.

"Oh, excuse me sir-," she said before looking up and making direct eye contact with Steve.

"Oh my God," was all she could manage before she passed out directly into Steve's arms.

"Someone you know?" The sharply dressed woman sidled up beside Steve.

"Yea, a friend. I wasn't expecting for her to find out this way."

"Well, carry her with you and we'll make our way back to the shop."

Steve's heart was heavy. He had just lost a friend in Dr. Erskine and he was unable to see Bucky off to war. He gazed down at the sleeping woman in his arms and felt better knowing he had at least one friend still around.

Ellie awoke to a dimly lit room with many filing cabinets lining the walls. The last thing she remembered was running into Steve, but it couldn't have been him. Just two days ago he was little, skinny Steve. But where was she? She slowly got off of the couch she was laying on and surveyed the room. It was just all cabinets and that was it. She tried the door and found that was, in fact, not locked. A very surprised man outside of the door started and turned to face Ellie.

"Oh, Miss Wyse! Agent Carter told me to stay here until you woke up and bring you to her."

Agent? Where in the hell was she?

"Excuse me, but where am I?" she asked as she fully stepped out into the hallway. She seemed to be underground, but she wasn't sure where.

"Uh, well, I'll let her tell you," he said with a smile. He led her down a long hallway and past several doors. Only a few people walked past her, but none of them looked threatening in any way. At the very end of the hallway was a heavy metal door. The man pulled a heavy lever upwards and unbolted the door. When the door swung away she looked inside to see it filled with several people milling about doing several different things. Many were taking apart and putting back together many different weapons, others were arguing while pointing to large maps, while some typed out letters. He led her straight to the woman she had seen earlier.

"Peggy Carter," she said as she extended a hand.

"Ellie Wyse. Uh, what am I doing here?"

"To explain what you saw earlier."

"So it _was_ Steve?" she gasped.

"Yes, Ellie," Steve said from behind her.

She jumped and turned around to face Steve. "You and Bucky are always scaring me."

She stepped forward tentatively and placed her hand on Steve's arm. "You're real."

He laughed heartily before hugging her. "Yes, I am very real."

He spent the rest of their afternoon explaining how he had met Dr. Erskine, the events leading up to and in the lab and why she had seen him running after the man on the street earlier that day.

"So, this is some secret organization after another secret organization?" she asked finally at the end.

"In a sense, yes," Peggy stated.

Ellie had started to really like Peggy; she was straight forward and really matter-of-fact in a way that was pleasing to her and not arrogant.

"I'm hoping to go overseas and help in the war effort," Steve said finally.

Ellie's heart sank. She was hoping she had at least one person she cared for nearby. She was terrified for Bucky and now she would be terrified for Steve.

Sensing Ellie's trepidation Steve put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I'm going to find Buck and help him out. Hell, I'll even bring him back to you in person."

Tears started to fill her eyes. "I would like that very much."

"For now, let's get you home. I have some very important things to go over with Mr. Rogers," Peggy said.

Steve did go overseas, but not for any of the reasons he wanted to. He was played like a puppet on a string to perform for bonds and help in the war effort. When he found out that Bucky and the rest of his regiment were missing behind enemy lines he stepped into action with the help of one Peggy Carter. He successfully saved them and became one of the Howling Commandos. What Steve didn't realize is that Hydra had already started to experiment their own Super Solider serum on Bucky while he was held captive. Whatever had happened to Bucky had changed him mentally, but he was still Steve's best friend.

They had decided to rendezvous with the train carrying Dr. Zola. A couple of missteps and two seconds too late, Steve lost his best friend when a hole was blown into the side of the train and Bucky Barnes fell into the cold wasteland around them. Hurt and lost, Steve finished the job he set out to do and crashed the plane he was on into the ice, never to be heard from again.

Ellie was sitting at the window of her apartment when she saw the sleek black car pull up. Something about it made her heart sink. The door opened and out stepped Peggy dressed to the nines in a two piece suit dress. Ellie quickly made her way down the stairs and wrenched the door open to see a stoic Peggy standing on her step.

"Peggy?" she breathed. She knew something was very wrong when the woman didn't speak first.

A single tear rolled down Peggy's face. "I have the unfortunate duty to tell you that both Steve Rogers and Sergeant James Barnes lost their lives in duty overseas."

This wasn't happening. Bucky had promised to come back and Steve had promised to be the one to bring him back. They were supposed to both come back. Ellie fell to her knees in the doorway and she started to sob. Peggy fell to her knees in front of her and brought Ellie into an embrace.

"I am so sorry, Ellie."

"He was supposed to come back," she cried.

"We both expected them to come back. I never knew it would end like this."

"Do…they have their bodies? Do I get to at least have a funeral for them?"

Peggy paused. She hadn't expected her to ask so soon. "I…no. Their bodies were never recovered."

This doubled the sobs coming out of Ellie now.

"Come, let us go inside," Peggy said standing her up and she waved for the driver to leave. "Let's have some tea and sort this all out."

Bucky was cold; very cold. He remembered falling and Steve trying to reach for him, but he couldn't reach him. He opened his eyes slightly and snow fell into them. His left arm was numb, but he put that off to the fact that he was lying in a snow bank. He could hear water nearby; a river, maybe? Then he heard voices in the distance. They seemed to be drawing closer and he wanted to get their attention, but his throat was raw and his lips felt as if they would crack apart if he moved them. As they got closer he could tell that they were speaking Russian. There was no way he would be able to communicate with them if they found him. He heard shouts of excitement as they drew closer. They couldn't have possibly been looking for him, but as they came upon him he realized they were. They gingerly touched his left arm. As one man shouted to the other a few more men were rushing forward with a stretcher. How did they know he was here? From what he remembered he had fallen from a moving train in the middle of the mountains. They hoisted him onto the stretcher while continuing to shout at one another. One man accidentally bumped his arm and the pain that shot through his skull caused him to black out.

Bucky did not wake up until an undeterminable time later and when he lifted his left arm the only thing he saw was the glint of metal.


	3. Chapter 3

_I apologize for the fact that my breaks have not been showing up in my writing. I insert breaks using punctuation and they aren't there when I post. I'm sorry for the run on feel of the story, it wasn't meant to be that way._

Everything felt _very_ wrong. In the pit of his stomach Bucky knew he shouldn't feel this way. In a dazed half dream he saw a woman; she was tall with chestnut hair and green eyes. He felt her warm breath on his cheek as she laughed. Her laugh sounded far away like a distant memory and as he tried harder to grasp to it, it slipped away. He flexed the fingers on his left hand. All felt natural, but at the same time not at all. Somewhere in the distance he could hear water dripping, but he was met with nothing but silence beyond that. He brought his hand up to rub his eyes and when cold touched flesh he sat upright quickly. It took him only seconds to focus on his surroundings. He was in a cold cell somewhere underground. Water dripped down the stone walls and the bars were built right into them. He looked down at this left arm and realized he had not dreamed the flash of metal he saw before. From the tip of his fingers to where his shoulder joined his body was a many jointed metal arm that if he were not looking, felt like his own. He turned his hand over some more to look at the seemingly perfect craftsmanship of his new appendage.

A sharp pain travelled from the left side of his head and down the entire length of his body. Bucky cried out and fell to the floor clutching his head. It seemed that his time underground had been much longer than he had thought because his hands went into jaw length hair.

"Ah, you're awake," a small man with a very strong accent appeared at the door of his cell.

"Where am I?" Bucky asked huskily. Hearing his own voice confirmed he hadn't talked in ages.

"You're in my secret underground lab where I," he stopped to point at his arm, "had this crafted for and put on. It is very life-like, yes?"

"Why did you save me?"

The man laughed loudly at his question. "Oh, I did not _save_ you! I am merely using you for a higher purpose!"

Bucky's head was reeling now.

"I will soon subject you to a series of…tests. You will be the best weapon Hydra has ever seen."

Weapon?

"For now, you will recover from your surgery and then I will call for you." With that, the little man left Bucky alone again.

Ellie spent most of her time out of the apartment nowadays. Her old friends called on her, but she had no interest in going out or seeing anyone. She knew she had promised Bucky to go on with her life, but when her whole life was out there in a frozen wasteland alone, she couldn't go on. She cried at night knowing that his poor, lifeless body was somewhere frozen in the tundra; he would never decompose and he would always be there. Her heart broke at the thought of Steve in much the same situation, giving his life for a greater cause. She sometimes spent days at a time without eating. It was on one of those days that Peggy decided to call on her. When she answered the door Peggy took in her gaunt face and overall ragged appearance.

"My God," she breathed. "I should have come sooner."

Peggy got her away from her apartment and took her to her own on the other side of town. This was after much a fuss and forcing Ellie to pack some of her things into a small suitcase.

"You need this," Peggy had said sternly. She was afraid for Ellie's health and overall well-being. "I'll have one of the doctors come look you over and once you're well enough, you will get help from one of our psychiatric doctors."

"I don't need help," Ellie said blankly as she stared out of the window in her new bedroom at Peggy's.

"I know it sounds crazy now, but trust me when I say this, it will get better."

Ellie turned her frighteningly calm face to look at Peggy. "When? It's been _months_ , Peggy. He is all I ever think about, hell, even Steve haunts my dreams. I went from spending every day with the man I loved to knowing he's never coming back."

"These are the consequences of war that we have to face. You knew going into this that there was a chance Bucky or Steve weren't coming back." Peggy knew she was being harsh, but Ellie needed to face the truth.

No emotion crossed Ellie's face at her remark. Peggy knew she was too far gone to even care about herself, much less what she had to say to her.

"Did the world have to be so cruel as to take both of them at once? Is there nothing for me in this life worth having?"

Peggy's heart broke at the tone of her words. She had lost before, yes, she had even loved Steve, but Ellie had never recovered from the darkness placed upon her.

"Get some rest. I'll bring some food to you later." And with that Peggy exited the room. This form of Ellie would take a long time to get back to the old one, but Peggy was going to try her damndest to get her there.

Fire shot through every vein in Bucky's body. He was entirely strapped into a chair so all he could do was clench and bite down on the guard in his mouth as his muffled screams echoed in the cavernous underground lab. He could feel the sweat dripping off of his chin. They had been going at this for hours. Over and over again they shocked his brain until he would pass out. They would wait for him to wake up and without even a reprieve they would start the torture over again.

"What is your name?" a man in a white coat moved in front of him and asked. He pulled the guard out of Bucky's mouth and as he did, a substantial amount of saliva came with it. Bucky felt like his body had been put into a tornado and tossed out again only to land in a whirlpool.

"Bucky," he breathed.

The doctor shoved the guard back into his mouth with total lack of empathy and shouted, "Again!"

The shock ripped through Bucky's head and then through every part of his body. Many doctors stood by silently while his screams' echoes never quite died out before the new ones started.

Months went by with Ellie under the care of Peggy. She saw improvement in her every day; from her face filling out as she began to eat, to the way she now made eye contact while they had dinner together.

"Did you still want a job to help with the effort?" Peggy asked one afternoon over tea.

Ellie shuffled the newspaper she was holding to look at Peggy over the top. "I don't see why not. I think I am capable of holding a job now. Did you have something in mind?"

"Come work for me. Nothing serious of course; no field work. I can have you work at the headquarters and be a secretary of some sort."

"You would like me to work for you?" Ellie asked in awe. She had never considered herself even on the same level as Peggy. She loved her very much, but she also felt intimidated by her.

"Why not? You have a good head on your shoulders and God knows you're smarter than most of the men I have to deal with there. At least maybe you can keep Stark in check."

Ellie laughed at that. She had met Howard Stark a handful of times when he came to the apartment. He was very charming to say the least and when he made one too many advances on Ellie despite Peggy's warnings Peggy punched him square in the nose one night over dinner. The subject was dropped and never brought up again.

"I think you have a pretty good handle on him," Ellie said as she continued to chuckle. "I would be honored to work for you."

"Great," she stated matter-of-factly. "You start tomorrow."

Ellie was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of knowledge she learned over the next few years (and saw the war end) under Peggy's tutelage. The main organization that they were always after, but always seemed to slip under the radar was Hydra. She was not privy to all knowledge, but she knew enough about them that they meant bad news to the entire world if their plans were seen to fruition. She had all the confidence in Peggy and her team to see to it that that would never happen.

What she never saw coming was the fact that Hydra would come closer to home than she ever expected.


	4. Chapter 4

_I feel as if this chapter is short again, but if I continue rambling it will seem like that and won't be a cohesive story. I inserted places or times as my break since none of my breaks were being inserted. Happy reading!_

"Attention everyone," Peggy said to the entire room early that morning.

Everyone fell silent around Ellie. She swiveled around in her chair to face the front most part of the room. Peggy stood as authoritative as ever beside a sharp dressed man. From his outward appearance, however, Ellie could tell he was very nervous.

"We have a new agent joining our ranks," she said gesturing to the man beside her. "His name is Thomas Volstad."

Everyone nodded in a polite hello.

"He will be with our strategic division planning out rendezvous points to intercept our enemies. He fought in the war and has an expertise in the terrain and points of interest in Eastern Europe."

The men standing by the maps smiled. They were experts as well, but they could always use an extra brain in the mix.

"That will be all."

The bustle of work started again and Ellie turned back to the paperwork she was organizing.

"Excuse me, miss," she heard from behind her.

She turned back around to face the man that was newly introduced to the room.

"May I help you?" she asked sweetly.

"Yes, um, Agent Carter said that you might be able to introduce me to the men in my department." He fidgeted a lot, she noticed.

Strange. Why would Peggy ask her to introduce her to his fellow workers? Shrugging it off, she stood up and directed him towards to the long table holding various maps and markers.

She cleared her throat as she approached. "Gentlemen, as you all know this is Agent Volstad." She started to point around the table as she introduced each and every person on the Strategic Planning Team before turning back towards him. "If you have any more questions you may ask anyone here."

"Thank you," he smiled.

He certainly did have his charms, but she was always leery of new agents until she got to know them.

 _Later that day_

"What do you think of our new agent?" Peggy asked Ellie over their afternoon tea.

"He seems nice. I only talked to him to introduce him to his team."

Peggy nodded and set her cup down. "I think he'll be useful."

"Where did you find him?"

"He came recommended to me by a colleague; something about working in his unit on the front. Of course I interviewed him before bringing him on. He seems quite the gentleman."

"Are you pushing him towards me or what?" Ellie asked rhetorically and with a laugh.

Peggy only raised her eyebrows.

"Oh, Peggy, you can't be serious!"

"It's been almost two years, Ellie."

"I still love Bucky."

"And you always will, but he's not coming back."

Ellie held back harsh tears. She had cried for Bucky many times over the past years, but the hurt in her heart had gotten bearable. She still loved him just as much as the day he left. She knew no one that came along would compare to him.

"I would appreciate it if you didn't try setting me up with new agents, Peggy." She said her name so definitively as she got up that Peggy knew broaching the subject again anytime soon would be suicide. She watched her as stomped off down the hall and into her room.

"I tried," she whispered to herself before taking another sip of tea. She glanced towards the framed picture that Ellie had brought with her when she moved in. In it, Steve and Bucky were standing side by side smiling directly at the camera. She touched the glass lightly where Steve's bright smile shown out at her before looking at the smiling face of Bucky. "I'm trying to get her to keep her promise, Buck. She's as hard headed as you and Steve."

 _Somewhere in Siberia_

He felt empty, he felt nothing, and he felt no pain. He laid in his cell staring at the ceiling, listening to the constant drip of water.

"Soldier," a man said at his cell.

He sat up obediently and stood before the door. He held his hands out through the small opening and the man bound his wrists with very thick cuffs before opening the door. He led him down the same corridor he walked every day at this time. Every day it was the same thing; he woke up and stared at the ceiling until they came for him. He entered the now very familiar cavernous room. He glanced around at the various doctors at their stations and even the ones above him in glass rooms staring down into the theater. He stood still as they unbound his hands and he sat in the chair without struggle. He opened his mouth to receive the guard and sat still as they bound his hands and feet. He knew what was coming. He knew he couldn't stop it. He wouldn't feel anything afterwards anyway, so why fight it? The doctor who led him in went to his station and pressed the button that would bring down the contrivance around his head. He bit down hard as he waited for the shock that would reset his entire day.

It came very suddenly and violently. He screamed as he knew he would. That reaction was involuntary because he was so used to it by now, he was sure he could get by without screaming if he could control it. His whole body was drenched in sweat within seconds. The pulsing stopped and he let out sharp, short breaths from around the mouth guard. His eyes wildly scanned the ceiling above him. He could describe every detail of that room to you, but then again, why would he want to? He had a moment's breath before it started again. He could feel the saliva building up in his mouth, but this never gave him a chance to swallow. He felt it as it slid around the guard and down his chin. Other previous times this may have been degrading, but he didn't really recall those times anyway. He did remember, faintly, soiling himself a few times, but he had hardened himself to these exercises and therefore never had that problem again. The pulsing stopped suddenly. The same doctor came over and took the guard from his mouth.

"What…is…your…name?" he sounded very impatient.

He thought for a second; his stare blank as he looked at the doctor.

The doctor rushed forward quickly and grabbed him by his hair, wrenching his head to the side.

"I ASKED YOU WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!" He felt the spittle hit his face.

He looked at the man, devoid of all emotion towards the situation and said finally, "I don't know."

 _Somewhere else in the facility_

"It is done, sir," the man in the white coat said to the man before him. "We have finally broken him."

"Not quite," he said firmly as he slid a picture across his desk to the man. "When they are brought here Sergeant Barnes needs to _show_ us that he is completely ours. You will still refer to him as the Soldier; I don't want any unwanted memories coming back to him. As for now, you will continue your tests and start training him. Hydra is going to need him eventually and he needs to be ready."

"Sir, how will we go about obtaining this person?" the doctor asked while holding the picture and studying it.

"I already have a man on it, doctor, no need for you to worry," he said with a wink.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N Sorry guys. My computer was doing dumb things and wouldn't let me save! It took a simple 30 second conversation with an IT friend to figure out that I am, in fact, dumb. Hope you enjoy!_

 _Somewhere in Siberia 1953_

Bucky followed the single bead of sweat that dripped off the end of his chin all the way until it hit the floor. Everything in his body felt electrified. He could see everything, he could hear everything, and he could feel nothing. His focus went back to the man in front of him. The highly trained soldier was wearing down in their training. There was no match to Bucky when it came to fighting. He had been brought to this pin every day for months in order to test out his new strength given to him by the serum. He had succeeded in every way possible and more. The doctors were very pleased with his progress. His brain pattern had not digressed and he still remained the ever obliging "Soldier".

"Stop," said a steady voice to his right. A doctor stood there always with his clipboard taking notes. "Stand still, Soldier."

Bucky did as he was told. He always did as he was told. The doctor came over to take in his physical appearance. Bucky was naked from the waist up and he only wore the tight fitting pants that were made for him for when they ventured out into the cold. His breathing was even, even though he had been training with the other soldier for a good twenty minutes. Every muscle in his body was defined now; not a single ounce of body fat was left on him. They had treated him well in every way, but mentally.

"How do you feel?" The doctor's tone lacked any empathy. This was purely science and research after all.

"Fine," Bucky said flatly. He didn't feel any way about any of what they did. They had crushed any emotions that he had left out of him years ago.

The doctor extended his stethoscope towards Bucky's chest and asked, "May I?" He did not ask out of politeness, but out of fear. Even though Bucky had not tried anything against anyone at the facility, most people walked around him as though any minute he would snap. Of course, they dared not to let him see that.

Bucky just nodded without looking at the doctor.

"Your heart sounds fine; your breathing is good as well. You're done for the day, Soldier."

Bucky walked in silence ahead of two guards as they led him back to his new quarters. He had been "upgraded" to an actual room from the dank cell he had recently inhabited. This new room had an actual single bed, plaster walls, and a bathroom. The door to it was of heavy reinforced steel as always, but at least it didn't feel as much like a prison. He listened as the bar slid shut on the door behind him. He wondered when the day would be when they would treat him like one of their own instead of some experiment. Funny thing was it didn't actually bother him. Nothing really bothered him anymore. He knew that at one time he must have felt _something_. He sat down hard on the bed when he heard the bar sliding back again.

Another young doctor stood at the door before him. "The doctor would like to see you now."

He had never been called upon except for training or his time in the chair. He stood up slowly and walked towards the door. The doctor held out his hand in front of him.

"Please put your winter clothes on, Soldier."

He found it odd. The other doctor had said he was done for the day. He complied without question and within minutes he was headed down the corridor between the doctor and a guard. The winter clothes they had provided for him left his metal arm completely exposed. This was his greatest weapon and they did not want anything hindering it. Besides, it warmed from the inside out so he had no need to have it covered anyway. They stopped before one of the many metal doors in the facility, but not one that Bucky had ever been through before. Two guards stood outside of the door and one leaned over to knock twice on it. A bar slid from the inside and swung open wide to reveal another cavernous room; one much like the one with the chair. This one held a long cylinder chamber in the middle, the front was completely clear and the entirety of it was surrounded by different monitors.

"Ah, Soldier," said one of the doctors looking up. Bucky was not sure which one was "the" doctor because he had met so many in his years here. "You're looking well."

He wasn't sure what the niceties were about. His eyes scanned the room. Not only his training, but now his natural instinct told him to take it every detail he could. There were exactly seven people in the room; he could read the heat signature of one doctor that was out of sight in a small office to the side. The only exit was the door he came in and only two of the men in the room were armed. If need be, he could take all of them before he needed to escape. He knew it wouldn't be necessary, however. They wouldn't train him all this time and bring him here to kill him.

"I see you're wearing the necessary clothing."

"What am I here for?" he asked.

"We feel that your training has gone well. You have advanced far beyond our expectations and for now you're not needed. We need to keep you, how should I say it, compliant."

Bucky's brow furrowed at the word. He had done everything they had asked of him.

"Oh, you have done very well. But for now we are going to keep you safe until we need you again."

Bucky's eyes flicked towards the chamber in the center of the room. He was starting to understand what the doctor was intending to do.

"We're going to keep you stable and on freeze until we can get you out again. No use in having you waste away in your room."

The doctor led him to an examination table next to the chamber.

"Sit here. We will start taking your vitals and hook you up to the heart rate and respiratory monitors before we get you in."

Other doctors were kept busy about the room as one walked up to Bucky ready with the sensors in his hands. Bucky sat impassively on the table.

"Please open your shirt."

Bucky pulled down on the zipper. He only wore the tight fitting, waterproof shirt that was made to go under his combat gear in the snow.

"This will be cold." He started to place the various sensors on Bucky's chest and booted up the monitor to test that they were reading correctly. He studied the monitor for a minute before looking back at Bucky. The other doctors in the room were busy tending to their own various tasks.

"You're afraid," the doctor stated quietly while pretending like he was adjusting one of the sensors on his chest. He noticed a barely perceptible intake of breath from Bucky. Bucky stared straight ahead and dared not to look at the doctor.

"There's no shame in being afraid. I live in fear here every day. I will be the main doctor to monitor you while you are under; I will take care of you."

Bucky hadn't felt compassion for years. He was their weapon and he was always treated as such. He no longer felt like a person and every ounce of humanity inside him was gone, but he felt a little more relaxed at the doctor's kind words.

"Is everything ready, doctor?" a commanding voice said behind him. The doctor started a little.

"Y-yes, sir. The Soldier is monitoring fine and is ready for sleep."

"Good. Get him in. We have other things to do."

Bucky was ushered gently by the doctor and as he laid a considerate hand on his back. "Now lean back on here."

He guided Bucky to lie back on the slightly tilted padded back of the chamber. He arranged the wires of the monitor so that when the chamber closed they would all be safely tucked inside with him.

"Now, I'm going to put you to sleep first. It is a very powerful sedative. Mostly, when such chambers like these are used the cold seems to put a person into a comatose state without the sedative, but I feel like it is much more pleasant and humane in the end. Of course, the others don't know that. I am the only one here that is an expert on such machines."

Bucky guessed that this man was working here against his will much like him. They probably had something against him or had threatened him in such a repugnant way that he did whatever they said.

"Just a little prick," he said as he inserted the needle into the vein on Bucky's right arm. "You'll be asleep soon enough and the horrors of this place will not haunt you. I'll make sure of that."

He felt grateful towards the man. In a way, he was happy for this. At first he _was_ afraid. He hadn't felt afraid in so long that the emotion was foreign to him until the doctor pointed it out. He might have managed a smile at him if he knew how or if he knew it wouldn't get the doctor killed. He felt it best just to nod at the man and lean back. He felt a warm sensation as the sedative worked through his veins. The last thing he remembered was a reassuring pat on his shoulder before he closed his eyes and drifted off in a completely nightmare free slumber. As the doctor had said, he was asleep before the chamber closed and the cold enveloped him. This wasn't like his fall, however. He felt warmth and a peace he hadn't known for a long time.


	6. Chapter 6

_New York 1954_

Ellie sipped nervously on the cup of tea in her hand. She was not ready for this. She glanced around the small café at the people who were laughing together and tried to pretend she was having a good time too. The Andrews Sisters played softly on a radio somewhere farther into the café. She let her mind wander when she heard the skid of the chair across the floor in front of her. She started and some of her tea sloshed over the side of her cup.

"I apologize," Thomas said sitting down across from her. A small waitress immediately flitted over and began taking his order. Ellie noticed that she took too long writing down his order and batted her eyelashes a little too much. God, were all girls this desperate and unhinged around Thomas? She had noticed the other girls around the office acting much the same way around him, but he had never had that effect on her. But Thomas seemed to only have eyes for Ellie, much to the chagrin of the other girls.

"Thanks for meeting me," he said when the waitress finally walked away.

He had asked her several times to go for coffee with him and each time she had declined with Bucky in mind. Then she remembered the promise she had made to Bucky and finally said yes to him. What could it hurt?

"No problem," she said with a small smile. She glanced out of the window and into the busy street. She always expected to see Steve or Bucky walk through the bustle of people and into the front door when she came here; smiles plastered across their faces. She smiled sadly.

"Is everything okay?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," she said turning and putting a normal smile back on her face.

"I'm glad to finally be doing this with you."

"Why me?" she couldn't help but ask. She didn't care if it offended him.

"Excuse me?" he said as the waitress sat his coffee down in front of him.

"Why do you keep asking _me_ out?"

"I like you."

"We never talk."

"We talk sometimes. I've talked to you enough to know that I like you better than all the other girls we work with. You don't throw yourself at me."

"Yea, I'm trying to understand why they do it, too."

He laughed at her comment towards him. "Sorry that some people like me! It's not like I'm going out with them and leaving them out to dry."

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong." Her entire face was flushed now.

"No need to be sorry. I'm just glad we're finally getting to sit down together and talk."

Ellie enjoyed the afternoon much more than she thought she would. After they were done conversing over drinks he offered to walk her home. She still lived with Peggy and figured much would stay that way until either woman found someone to be with.

"Do you like living with Peggy?" he asked her as they drew near to their apartment.

"I like the company."

"It's not weird living with your boss?"

"She was my friend before she was my boss and, no, it's not. We tend to leave work at work and we talk about more pleasant things at home."

"Is she there often?"

"Often enough. Why?"

"Oh, just conversation," he laughed. "I wasn't sure how much time you actually spent with her."

"I don't see why that matters. We don't talk about you if that's what you're wondering."

He laughed again and scratched the back of his neck. She could tell he was nervous. "I'm not at all worried if you talk about me. Hell, I'd be worried if you _didn't_. That would mean I don't mean much to you and that would kill me."

"Kill you?" This was all very strange to her.

He took her hands in his. "I like you, Ellie. I have since I first met you and despite the fact that you don't want to be around me or want to talk to me, I still like you. Look, I know Bucky still means a lot to you." He could see the sting of his name on her face as she looked down. He quickly cupped his hand under her chin and brought her face back up to meet his. "I understand. I once had someone that I loved very much that I lost. I know how you feel. I know what it's like to lie awake at night and wonder how things might have been, but I also realized that living in the past has affected the way I lived my life. I don't want to hide behind my past feelings anymore; I want to create new ones, with you, Ellie."

She couldn't help but smile a little at his words. What if he were right? Maybe she was hiding behind her feelings for Bucky all this time and it wasn't giving her a chance to live again. This is what Bucky wanted, right?

"Okay," she said finally. "But I want to take this slow. I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt and almost feel kind of wrong doing this. I have loved him for so long and I won't stop any time soon, but I'm willing to move on and be happy in another way."

"That's all I'm asking for," he said with a smile. He kissed her lightly on the cheek. "I'll see you at work tomorrow."

He left her on the step and only turned to wave as he rounded the corner.

"Well, _that_ was fascinating," Peggy said from the doorway.

Ellie jumped and turned a mock scowl on Peggy. "Were you _watching_ me?!"

"Oh, heavens no," Peggy said with a laugh and very clearly lying.

Ellie turned crimson as she brushed past Peggy in the doorway. "I'm happy for you, Ellie."

She shuffled a little and pulled at the end of the scarf on her neck. "I know I should be happy about this, Peggy, but it feels wrong."

"And it probably will for a while." Peggy pulled the scarf from around Ellie's neck and hung it on the rack in the hallway. "You don't have to move fast. Just have a cup of coffee with him here and there and if it doesn't work out then it doesn't work out. In the end you can say that you tried and that's all that counts."

Ellie smiled at Peggy. What would she have done if Peggy hadn't swooped in years ago and pulled her from her depression and self pity? "I love you, Peggy."

"I love _you_ , Ellie."

 _Phone booth, Street Corner, New York City_

"Yes, sir," the man said into the receiver. "I know where the objective lives. Followed home, yes. No. Okay. I'll keep a closer eye. Anything else you would like for me to do? Thank you, sir."

The man hung up the phone and exited the phone booth and onto the busy sidewalk. He pulled the collar of his heavy jacket up around his face and walked through the throng of people trying to get home. No one took notice of him and he liked it that way. It made his job easier in the end.


	7. Chapter 7

_I'm on a roll today. Hope you guys enjoy this one! Things are starting to pick up now_

 _Siberia_

The doctor that was kind to Bucky stood before the cryo-chamber studying the still asleep man. He had recently installed two nodes to Bucky's temples to monitor his brain waves while he slept. He was the only person in the room since Bucky was his stead, so it gave him plenty of time to study the man before him. He looked towards the monitor that measured out his brain activity and found it quite normal. It was exactly where he wanted him. He made sure every day that Bucky didn't have nightmares. Unknown to the rest of the doctors and the higher ups, he had control over the sedative that kept Bucky in a constant state of peace. If the whispered words he heard were true about their intentions, he would need this sleep now more than ever. Only once had his brain activity gone off the charts. It was almost like he was fighting to remember something and forget it at the same time. He upped the dosage on the sedative and he hadn't had a single dream since. The monitors around him beeped their constant beeping that let him know that Bucky was still alive. He sighed deeply and looked down at his hands.

"I wish I had to courage to do what is right by you. It would be effortless to switch out the sedative. You wouldn't even know your passing from sleep to death, but I have my family to look after."

He looked back up again at Bucky.

"They're going to wake you up soon and they're going to use you in the worse way possible. You just thought your training was over when they put you in there. I wish I could keep you here forever until I could find a way to get you out."

The monitor next to him went off in alarm; it was the one monitoring his brainwaves. It peaked suddenly and went back down as sharply as it went up. The doctor held his breath and looked toward Bucky and then back at the monitor. The lines sharply rose upward again; Bucky jerked within the cryo-chamber. Never before had he moved during his dreams, but perhaps this time it was a living nightmare for Bucky. His metal arm slammed against the glass of the chamber, but not once did his eyes open. Bucky cried out in anguish from inside. He was truly terrified. The doctor scrambled towards the IV drip leading into where Bucky was. He knocked over the small table next to it, sending various bottles and needles flying across the floor. Every monitor in the room started to go off in alarm. He dropped to his knees cursing himself for being in such a hurry that he scattered everything. Bucky continued to cry out as he pushed with all his might against the door. The chamber was not made to withstand someone wanting to break out from the inside. The doctor stood up suddenly as he found the vial he wanted and rushed over to Bucky. He was surprised to find him still asleep even though he was moving and acting as if fully awake. Tears were streaming down as his face contorted in anger.

"I'm so sorry," the doctor whispered as he pushed the entire dose of the sedative into the line leading to Bucky.

Within seconds he had settled back against the padding of the chamber, though slumped a little, and the monitors were all back to normal. He walked over and looked at Bucky; the tears on his face had frosted over as soon as they had stopped.

The doctor was torn on the inside. He was physically and mentally exhausted. If he could live through this, he would find a way to help him. He settled back into his chair by the chamber and stared, without thinking, at the prone figure of Bucky.

 _New York_

Ellie and Thomas had been dating a few months. She had finally given in to seeing him more often and found herself liking him more and more. He was always a gentleman; he met her at the door on dates, walked on the sidewalk closer to the road, held doors open for her, and held an umbrella over her when it rained. He never assumed anything from her which was a huge relief. She wasn't sure she was ready for a much more intimate relationship yet.

They were currently in a small Italian restaurant that they officially had their first dinner date in. He had just come back from a recent mission surveying an area that was top secret to most people at the facility.

"So, how was it?" she asked over her glass of wine.

"Oh, you know, cold," he said with a wink. He wasn't authorized to tell her _exactly_ where he went.

"Sounds exotic," she said sitting her glass down on the table and smiling.

"Like you wouldn't believe."

The rest of the evening had gone as pleasantly as they always did. At the end of their date, Thomas held his arm out for Ellie. "Mind if I walk you home?" He felt like he always had to ask.

"I wouldn't mind at all," she said smiling while shrugging on her jacket.

The rest of the walk was quiet. Thomas seemed tense next to Ellie.

"Is everything okay?" she asked him.

"Oh, yes," he said as he snapped out of his reverie. "I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Nothing in particular."

Ellie just shrugged it off thinking he may have been reflecting back on his work. At her step he kissed her on the cheek as always and promised to see her at work tomorrow.

The next day Thomas was not at work. Maybe he was sick and that was the reason for him acting so strangely the night before, she had thought to herself.

"Where's Thomas?" Peggy had asked her later that morning when Ellie sat down at her desk with her second cup of coffee.

"Did he not call?" Ellie asked.

"No, he never showed up. Didn't you go to dinner with him last night?"

"Yes. He seemed a little tense, but I brushed it off as something to do with his recent mission he went on."

"What mission?" Peggy asked looking sideways at Ellie.

"He said he was sent on one to map a certain area that no one was to know about."

"I sent him nowhere, Ellie." She could hear the concern in Peggy's voice.

Ellie's heart dropped into her stomach. What else had he lied about? She started to breath heavily.

"No need to panic, El. We'll get to the bottom of this."

Maybe he was in trouble? Where had he actually gone? She thought for sure if there were something wrong he would tell her.

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a blur; none of the other agents had heard or talked to Thomas since the day before. No one reported him acting strangely and he had told no one where he was for the entire week that he was gone. The whole situation was strange and it left an odd feeling in Ellie. At the end of the day, Peggy told her to go on home while she stayed behind to find out where their Agent had actually gone.

Ellie walked hastily home to see if there were any notes slipped under the door explaining to her where Thomas had gone. Upon stepping into the foyer she knew something was wrong. The door was locked, yes, but the feeling inside the house was tense. It was very quiet, which was strange since Peggy had left the radio on when they left this morning. Ellie could hear the blood rushing through her ears and she strained to hear anything from within the house. The sun was already starting to go down, so it cast many shadows around into the study on the right and the dining room on the left was almost entirely cloaked in darkness. She had just passed both doorways when she heard him.

"I was wondering when you were going to come home," Thomas said from the table.

Ellie yelped a little and dropped her purse on the ground before facing the dark dining room.

"Thomas?" Her voice was shaking now.

"Are you nervous?"

"Why are you sitting in the dark? How did you get in?"

"I came to talk to you."

"Is this about your mission that Peggy seemed to have no idea about?"

"Ah, so you've found me out. You're right. I wasn't on a mission for Agent Carter last week. As a matter of fact, I'm not truly working for your little…organization anyway."

Ellie's stomach turned a flip. She should have smelled him out from a mile away. She should have followed her gut feeling when she first met him.

"Who do you work for?" she finally asked. Her mouth was dry.

"Hydra," he stated matter-of-factly.

She gulped audibly.

"There's no need to be afraid, Ellie."

"Why shouldn't I be? You've been lying to me for the better part of these last few months."

"Oh dear Ellie, I do care for you," he said standing up and making his way towards her. She instinctively stepped back towards the study. "I care for you in the way that I needed to protect you in order to use you."

Her heel caught the area rug and she stumbled backwards into the study, landing flat on her rear end. Before she could even make a move to stand Thomas was straddled around her waist and had both hands on her throat.

"I really didn't want to do this, Ellie," he said through gritted teeth. "But Hydra needs you now more than ever."

Ellie struggled against Thomas as hard as she could. Blood welled up on his face where her fingernails dug into his cheek. She kicked as forcefully as she could, but it was of no use. Thoughts of Bucky, Steve, and Peggy raced through her mind as she started to lose focus on the room. One last image of Bucky as he stood before her in uniform stood out in her mind right before everything went black.

 _Later that evening_

Peggy walked through the front door already talking loudly out to Ellie.

"I don't know where Thomas went, El. No one has heard from him since last ni-," she stopped short when she noticed Ellie's purse on the ground in the hallway. "Ellie?"

She looked into the now darkened study and felt on the wall for the light switch while her other hand went to her thigh holster. She pulled her gun the same time she flicked on the light. There was an obvious sign of struggle in the room.

"Ellie?!" she cried. Peggy was visibly panicked. She searched every room in the house before concluding on her worst fear. Thomas Volstad was not who he said he was. He had used her all along and all along he wanted Ellie, but what for?

She quickly picked up the phone and dialed the direct number to the agency. The 24/7 operator picked up and asked Peggy for the password. She gave it to the man before saying, "Call everyone. An agent is missing."


	8. Chapter 8

_New York, the same evening of Ellie's kidnap_

The tension in the room was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Peggy had gathered every agent within the hour and they were now convening in the common area where everyone normally worked. There was a hushed silence in the crowd much like one when an entire room of people all receives the same bad news. All faces were downcast. Some were nervous, others wore the face of someone who should have known better but never said anything.

Peggy sighed deeply before starting. "One of our own, Evelyn Wyse, was taken tonight by someone who we thought was our own." She had no need to say his name. Everyone knew he was missing that day and it was obvious he wasn't in the room tonight. "He most obviously works for Hydra, but for whatever reason I cannot even _imagine_ why they would want Ellie."

"Do you think they're trying to get to you?" Howard said from beside her.

"If they're going to use her as some bargaining chip then they will be deeply mistaken as to the extent I will go through to get her back."

Howard laid a comforting hand on hers. "We'll get her back. I'm sure she gave that guy one hell of a fight."

The rest of the evening was spent laying out a plan to get her back. First, they had to check the address given to them by Thomas when he got the job. That led to nothing, but a studio apartment that only housed a small bed, some kitchen appliances, and a small nightstand. There was no evidence that he even lived there. Peggy suspected that he did so purposefully because he knew his place would be searched once Ellie went missing. Ellie was nowhere around now to even get a hint at where he could have possibly gone last week; wherever it was, was probably to plan on his next move to get her to wherever he needed her. Peggy was kicking herself for not realizing sooner that Thomas was an imposter that she brought into her very own agency.

Once their planning had reached into the early morning hours Peggy started to dispatch people home.

"No use in not getting any sleep. Meet back here after lunch," she said to everyone as they started to pack their things into their briefcases.

She turned to Howard sternly. "There has to be _something_ you have that can help us."

Howard's face softened towards her. He knew she was desperate and she didn't want to show it.

"Look, all I can suggest as that we think back to when Steve rescued those men. That Hydra base was there. Can we look through any of that information that we brought back? It might hold some clues as to where they might be."

Peggy's face lit up. She honestly hadn't thought about that. That information had been organized by none other than Ellie herself. She knew that it would be carefully categorized and easily found in the filing cabinets down the hall. She grabbed Howard roughly on the sides of his face and kissed him quickly on the lips.

"You stupid yet brilliant man!"

"I guess I'll take that as a compliment," he said as she rushed past him and down a hallway.

She skidded to a stop outside of a door and pulled her keys from a pocket on her skirt, but when she opened the door her heart dropped out of her chest and onto the floor. The entire room was a wreck. All of the cabinets were open and papers were scattered everywhere. She quickly made her way to the cabinet that would house the files on Hydra when Howard appeared in the doorway.

"Oh my god," he whispered.

Peggy was crying now. "That son of a bitch _knew_ we had information on him and he _took_ it!" She held the drawer open to reveal that every single piece of paper, picture, and map inside was removed.

Howard was dumbfounded and didn't even know what to say.

"Peggy…," he started to say.

"NO, Howard! I do _not_ want your sympathy right now! I am _so_ angry right now I could kill something. How dare _he_ come into _my_ agency and make a mess of things!" She marched up as close as she could get to Howard. He could feel her breath on his skin she was so close to his face. He could see the anger burning in her eyes as she spoke again. "I am going to find him and _kill_ him, Howard. Mark my words, I _will_ find him."

She made sure her shoulder hit his as she made her way back out of the room.

"What a mess this is," Howard said to no one but himself.

 _Aircraft, unknown location_

Ellie moaned inwardly as she started to wake up. Her arms were painfully tied behind her and when she tried to move that only seemed to make them hurt worse. She rolled a little and her face met cold metal. Through the blinding pain in her head she could hear the hum of engines.

"Sir, she's waking up," a voice said close by.

She heard heavy boots coming towards her and she was violently rolled backwards until she was lying on her arms. She cried out in pain was one of her fingers caught on the metal floor and made a sickening crack as it broke. She opened her eyes now and could barely see in the dimly lit aircraft she was in. She knew it was an aircraft because it was open from front to back; she could clearly see a pilot in the cockpit from where she lay. Thomas, now dressed in a full military uniform, came into view above her.

"Good evening, Ellie," he said with a smile that dripped with malice.

Ellie only moaned in response and tried to roll off of her arms. Thomas put a firm boot on her stomach to prevent her from moving.

"You are going to do everything that I tell you to do from now on," he simply stated.

"What do you want?" she asked hoarsely.

" _I_ don't want anything. I had my use of you and now I'm done. It is Hydra that needs you now."

"I don't know anything."

"Oh, but you do; you know much more than you think. Besides, it's not your knowledge we need anyway; just you."

"I don't understand."

"You'll understand soon enough. Now, be quiet until you're spoken to."

He took his boot off her stomach and allowed her to roll back to her side. Her finger was now going numb and she was thankful for it. She let the steady hum of the engines lull her back to sleep because for some reason she knew she would need her strength in the next few hours.

 _Siberia_

"Doctor," a soldier said as he walked into the room in which Bucky was kept.

The doctor nodded in acknowledgement.

"They will need the Soldier tomorrow, so I suggest you start waking him up," he said as he pointed to the chamber, his hand never leaving his gun.

The doctor looked back towards Bucky and nodded sadly. "He'll be ready to go in the morning."

The soldier said nothing as he left the room. The doctor got up slowly and sighed while looking around the room.

"So they got it," he said to the sleeping form of Bucky. "They've brought back what is going to break you the most. I was hoping they wouldn't find it, whatever it is." He pulled a vial out and drew some out into a syringe before inserting it into the line. "You'll start waking up soon and the real nightmare will begin." He started flipping switches that would warm up the chamber. "I just hope you're strong enough to realize who you really are…Bucky."

 _Later that evening_

Bucky awoke with a start and panicked when he couldn't remember where he was. He was lying flat and staring up into a stone ceiling. For a second he thought he was back in the chair when he realized the ceiling was not quite the same. A warm hand touched his arm and he reacted quickly by grabbing their wrist and sitting upright at the same time.

"It's just me," said a familiar voice. He looked to see it was the kind doctor from before.

"How long?" Bucky asked while letting go.

"Oh, just around eight months," he said while rubbing his wrist. "No hard feelings." He held up his wrist to show Bucky it was fine.

"They're going to run some more tests," he said while turning away. He didn't want to see Bucky's face when he told him.

"What tests?"

"I'm not sure." He was only halfway lying. He wasn't sure who or what they had brought for Bucky. "They don't tell me much." He turned back to Bucky and began examining him.

"I've done all they have asked of me," Bucky said softly.

"I know," was all the doctor could say.

"Will you be there?"

The question startled the doctor. "I highly doubt that. They don't usually let me in on the training. I'm an expert at this," he gestured towards the chamber, "remember?"

Bucky just nodded. "I'm tired of these experiments."

"So am I."

"When will they let me do something worthwhile?"

"Worthwhile? Nothing you do will be worthwhile, Soldier. They're breaking you until there's nothing left but a shell that obeys commands. Is that what you want?"

"I don't know what I want anymore."

"And that's exactly where they want you."

The doctor couldn't say much more because doctors and soldiers starting filing into the room.

"Is the Soldier prepped?" one asked him.

"Prepped and ready to go," he said turning away from Bucky. He was going to try to distance himself now. No use in getting involved in this mess.

"How are you feeling?" another doctor asked as they walked up to Bucky.

"Fine," he said.

"Good. To the chair then." This particular man was holding a red book with a black star on the front.

Bucky acquiesced and stood up from the table. He looked sideways at the kind doctor before exiting the room, but he was busying himself with something on a table. He knew it was better this way.


	9. Chapter 9

She awoke slowly this time when she realized she had regained consciousness. Ellie was not in the mood to have a boot in her stomach again. The more she became aware of her surroundings she concluded that was tied to a chair this time instead of lying on the floor. At first she thought she was blindfolded until she figured out that she was just in a very dark room. It smelled musty and wet. The only time she had smelled this particular smell was in the basement of her childhood home. Upon trying to move she deduced that her hands were still tied behind her (not to the actual chair) and her feet were tied to the legs of the chair. The finger she had broken earlier…earlier? When had that happened? Either way, it was stiff and swollen now, but that didn't compare to the current situation she was in. She shivered when she realized just how cold she was. Where was she? Light streamed into the room and made her squint as a door in front of her opened. A man with a long jacket stood there; only his silhouette shone to her.

"You're awake finally." His voice was gruff and not at all friendly. He moved into the room without shutting the door and flipped on a heavily shaded lamp in the corner of the room. The source of the light was too far behind her to turn towards her captor. He walked heavily back to the door and shut it with a slam.

"You've been brought in for questioning."

"For what?" The more she struggled the more the rough rope cut into her hands so she figured it was best not to fight it just yet. If she had a chance she was getting out of here.

"You know exactly what for."

She was confused. Were they going to question her about S.H.I.E.L.D.?

"We will begin shortly."

She had a feeling this wasn't going to be a simple questioning.

 _Bucky's cell_

There were two soldiers strapping him into his combat suit. One started to look over the array of weapons on the table they had brought in and picked up a few knives, walked over to Bucky, and started placing them in the various sheaths around his suit. Next he brought up one hand gun and placed it in the holster at his hip.

"What is this for?" he asked.

"Don't ask questions, Soldier. This is for your mission."

He had just been in the chair. The doctor had read from the book and something in him changed. They had not briefed him on his mission, but he knew he would carry through with whatever it was. He decided it was best he didn't talk. Once they were done they led him down a long hallway and stopped outside of yet another door he had never been through. One guard pushed the door open to reveal a dark room with a small light in one corner. He could tell there was one person tied to a chair and another man in the corner.

"Soldier, just in time," the man said walking towards him. "We have a prisoner for questioning that will need some persuading."

Bucky nodded. He knew they were bringing in people to gather information about the enemy. He was happy, if he could call it that, to finally be doing something other than sitting in the chair and training. He could tell the person in the chair was gagged by their ragged breathing and moans of protest. He assumed they had tried questioning before and he was brought in as the last resort. After all, he was their most intimidating weapon, right?

The man shut the door behind them and walked back towards the corner that had the light.

"We have an organization trying to uncover ours and bring it down," he began. "This person here is an operative for them. She works for S.H.I.E.L.D. I've already tried questioning her, but she has not complied with our demands. That's why you're here."

 _Ellie_

She realized with sick realization what was about to happen. The man hadn't questioned her at all; he had never even given her a chance to talk. He had gagged her as soon as he was able and since then they had both waited in silence. They were going straight to torture tactics. She didn't know what they hoped to learn other than the location of S.H.I.E.L.D. and who they were after. She had decided right away she wasn't going to give them any information, even if her life depended upon it.

She couldn't make out the man that came into the room other than when he walked in she could tell his hair was longer than was in fashion and he was _large_. He stood silently in front of her somewhere. The light in the corner behind her did not provide any vision to the front of the room. She tried to even out her breathing. No use in giving them what they wanted.

"Now," the man that had gagged her began, "since you were so insubordinate earlier I brought in my friend here. We are going to go through another series of questions…again."

 _Bucky_

He had to prove himself worthy of what they made him. He had worked so hard to be what they wanted and now was his chance to prove that he was something other than an experiment. He was determined to show them what he was capable of. He pulled one of the short knives that were strapped to his belt. In his training he had shown proficiency in everything, but the knives were his personal favorite. He liked to be close to his enemies when he brought them down. He stood silent in the front of the room. He could see the doctor nod in his direction and he walked towards the subject in the center of the room. He stood directly behind the person in the chair and as quickly as you can take a breath he had the knife to their throat. He heard a strangled cry come from around the gag. The person immediately started to shake in his grip. He could tell they were trying to use all self control that they could to stop themselves.

"Are you going to tell us who you work for?" the man asked.

Bucky wasn't sure how they would respond with the gag, but he trusted that they knew what they were doing.

The person vehemently shook their head no.

Bucky pulled the knife tighter slicing directly into her skin, but not deep enough to cause much damage.

She breathed in a battered breath as the knife cut into her skin. His hand was in her hair pulling her head back. He thought for a moment that this was a woman he was torturing. This didn't faze him; however, this was his mission.

"You know, the longer you keep up this hero's charade the worse this is going to get, correct?"

She was crying now, but she still shook her head as much as she could without driving the knife deeper into her skin.

Bucky looked towards the man and he nodded again. As fast as he was behind her with the knife to her throat, he brought the knife up, flipped it once in his hand and brought it down hard into the top of her leg.

The screams that issued were inhuman to him. He knew this was necessary, though. Everything he was made to do was necessary.

"Since you know that we have no intention of stopping, do you wish to talk now?"

She slumped forward in the chair and continued to sob and shake. Bucky had left the knife in the top of her leg. Before he could think some more on it he deftly pulled the knife from her. She screamed again as the serrated edge ripped her skin. She started to breathe in short breaths as she started to panic. Bucky jerked her back by her hair again and had the knife to her throat once more. From the soft light in the corner he could see the tears streaming down her face as she had her eyes screwed shut. He knew that look of defiance; she wasn't talking any time soon. He knew he was going to have to try other means of getting it out of her. He quickly kicked one leg of the chair and had her toppling over to her side before the man in the corner could get out another question.

The doctor was thoroughly impressed.

Bucky brought his heavy boot down on her leg closest to the floor. She had no time to recover from what had just happened before he snapped her fibula.

The screams of anguish that filled the room almost reminded him of his time in the chair, but this didn't matter to him. All of this training and torture he had to do led up to this moment in this room. He was breathing evenly when he stepped back from the prone figure. Gauging by how still she was now he assumed she had passed out.

"Very good, Soldier. You have performed well for today."

Bucky didn't show it on the outside, but he was proud of this moment. He was finally making a difference here. Now that he was able to prove himself maybe they would let him do bigger things for their much larger cause.

"That is enough for today. We'll bring her back in for questioning later. You may go." The man knocked twice on the door. The guards standing outside opened the door and led Bucky back to his cell. He wiped his knife clean on his pants before stripping down and giving everything he had to the soldiers that had dressed him earlier.

He had earned everything he got today. He finally was becoming the Solider they wanted him to be.


	10. Chapter 10

_Don't breath, don't cry, and don't open your eyes_. Ellie kept saying the mantra to herself as soon as she woke up about a half hour ago. She could hear whirring of machines and nothing else. She was met with the same dank smell as before but this time she was more comfortable; if comfortable were the word for this situation. She was lying prone on her back and didn't dare move. She still recalled the injuries she sustained and she wasn't interested in trying to move anyway.

She felt a warm hand touch her shoulder. Her first instinct was to jerk away, but all she managed was a tiny flinch.

"You've been fighting the fact that you've been awake for awhile. You can open your eyes now."

The voice didn't sound as intimidating as the ones she had been meeting with lately. She opened her eyes to be met with warm brown ones. The older gentleman looking down at her did not seem as harsh as many of the others.

"Who are you?" she asked finally.

"Oh, I will just be taking care of you in between questioning."

Ellie picked her head up and looked down at herself. Her knee was bandaged just above her right knee and from there down was in a cast.

"He broke your fibula," the doctor stated simply.

"Who did?"

"The Soldier."

Ellie hadn't heard of any Soldier within the ranks of Hydra, but then again, she didn't know much about Hydra to begin with.

"He is an experiment of sorts," he said voluntarily. "You were brought here to test him."

"Test him?"

"They haven't tested him on live subjects yet. He has only trained both mentally and physically with people here. They want to see how far he will go for them."

"I feel like he went pretty far."

"Oh, that was just the tip of the iceberg of what he is able to do I'm afraid."

Ellie shuddered at the thought of coming face to face with the man again.

"When will they…question me again?"

"Not for some time. You will have to heal first. So for now, you are in my care." The doctor allowed her a small smile.

"Why are you being so kind to me?"

"I am here because they have something against me, but they will not take away my humanity in the process. I will do what they tell me, but I feel that every creature of this earth deserves a little kindness; especially in your situation."

"So I am to stay here?"

"Yes. There is a small room off to the side." He indicated to his right through an open door. "There is a bathroom inside and a small bed. You will not go beyond this room."

"How long will this take?" she said gesturing to her leg.

"Six to eight weeks, but I doubt they will wait that long to question you again."

She shuddered at the thought of the man who drove his knife into her leg.

"Who is the Soldier?" she asked.

"Who is he as a person or the man they made him? I cannot answer for him, but I think at one time he was a kind, gentle man. As for what he is now, he isn't a machine, but brainwashed into thinking he's doing something good for this world. He follows orders, but he follows them precisely and of his own doing. He knows several languages and can get anyone to follow him. He is a prisoner, yet he is free. If he knew his own capabilities he would not be here."

"What makes you think he used to be kind?"

"Because I've seen him afraid."

"And that makes him a gentle man?"

"Any man who can show fear is gentle. Now, let us look at that wound."

Ellie spent a few weeks with the doctor without ever learning his name. They were together constantly and their meals were slipped through a slot on the door. It was just a normal day as always when they came for her again. The soldiers walked into the room without as so much as a knock and ordered the doctor to ready her for another round of questioning.

She looked fearfully towards the doctor.

"I don't think I will survive it the second time," she whispered. Tears started to well in her eyes.

"If you are strong you will survive." He placed both of his hands on her shoulders. "Look him right in the eye and make him understand he will not break you. I believe there is still an ounce of humanity left in him."

"They torture me in darkness."

"I was afraid of that. You must be strong. Do not tell them what they want to know. I believe they will use it to cause destruction the likes of this world has never seen."

They came back for her sooner than she would have liked. This time they strapped her into a wheelchair as she was not yet able to walk on her own. They blindfolded her before taking her out of the room and once more into the room with the single lamp.

 _Bucky_

A single soldier came into Bucky's room this time.

"It is time. He wants to question the prisoner again."

Bucky only nodded in assent as he got up to prepare for the questioning. He was determined to get something out of her. He was afraid that if he didn't soon they would consider him as a failure. This time he left the handgun on the table.

The room was dark again with the single lamp in the corner.

"Soldier, we are ready to begin."

The woman didn't even move to look in his direction. He could see clearly enough in the dark to know that she was staring straight ahead. This time they had her strapped into a wheelchair, so that meant her leg had not yet healed. This time he stuck the knife to the base of her skull.

"Where is S.H.I.E.L.D.'s base?" the man began.

"Go to hell," she said through gritted teeth.

This made Bucky very angry. He brought his knife back and carved a deep line from shoulder to shoulder. She shuddered violently, but kept her mouth shut. He would have to try harder.

"Who runs the operation?"

"I'd rather die than tell you."

"You just might."

This time Bucky reached around her with his metal hand and forcefully bent back her four fingers until he heard them all snap with a sickening echo in the room. This time she cried out in pain. He noticed a little saliva escape her mouth and suddenly she reminded him of himself. Still, this wouldn't deter him from the task at hand.

He came around her and placed both of his hands on her knees intending to crush them both when the door behind him opened. The room was soon filled with light in the hallway and he whipped around quickly to see who the sudden intruder was. The man in the doorway ignored Bucky all together and looked towards the man in the corner.

"Sir, something of importance has come up," the man said. Bucky noticed that he eyed him nervously for a second.

"Can it wait?" the man asked.

Bucky looked back towards the woman. Her fully battered body was illuminated to him now from the light in the hallway. She was small in stature and looked pale and weak. What information could she possibly have that was so important to her that she would die for it?

 _Ellie_

Weak relief filled her as the door opened behind the man. Both of his hands were on her knees a moment ago. She swore one of them felt much different from the other, but she ignored it because at least now she would be able to breathe before he broke both of her legs.

He whipped around quickly to face the man and now the questioner and the soldier were exchanging words, but she chose not to listen. Her heart was beating so hard in her ears she couldn't hear anyway. Her back throbbed where he had flayed open the skin there and she could feel the warmness of her blood slowly making its way down to the chair. She figured a chance peek at her attacker would at least put a face to all the pain.

The face she saw was not the face she was expecting. This face she only saw in memories and in dreams. This face was not the face of a killer. Her heart stilled and she was sure he saw the sudden horror on her face as she peered at him.

There was no recognition in his eyes at all. He stared at her with no emotion whatsoever.

Bucky stared back at her, his bloody knife in hand.

" _As for what he is now, he isn't a machine, but brainwashed into thinking he's doing something good for this world."_ She knew at this point that this wasn't her Bucky; this was a new man entirely. This was a new man who had no idea who she was.

She started to weep. She was no longer in pain physically, but mentally.

"What did they do to you?" she said aloud.

Bucky looked at her quizzically, but didn't speak.

"Do not talk unless spoken to!" the man in the corner snapped.

She figured now was a good time as any to speak up before he killed her.

"Do you not remember me!?" she cried.

Bucky was quick to react this time.

"You're an operative for S.H.I.E.L.D. that is here for questioning," he said while drawing his knife again.

"No, I'm Ellie, Bucky."

"What did you call me?" he asked stopping in front of her. A sharp pain in his head made him wince, but he didn't move from the spot he was in.

"I SAID NOT TO SPEAK!" The man in the corner was scrambling for something, but not quickly enough.

"Bucky! We were in love! You felt love! They told me you were dead, but these people have brainwashed you!"

"They have done nothing, but made me a vessel for their work! I'm going to bring peace to this world!" Bucky cried as he drove his knife hard into the top of her hand.

"Don't do this, Bucky," she cried. "This isn't you."

"This is me," he said as he twisted the knife in her hand. He was close enough now that their foreheads were almost touching. "And it is my duty to get information from you."

She cried from pain; pain for herself and for the man in front of her. He no longer knew who she was and he no longer knew himself.

She resigned herself to her fate. If she were to die she would like to die by the hands of the man she loved.

"Stay good, Buck," she whispered.

She saw his knuckles go white around the knife in her hand and heard his hard intake of breath before he twisted the knife again and whispered, "Stop calling me that."

He jerked the knife out of her hand and left the room hastily. Two guards scrambled to chase after him down the hallway.

The man in the corner stood in front of her now. "You're not allowed to talk to the Soldier."

"He has a name."

"Not anymore."

She was wheeled back to the room with the doctor. He sighed heavily when the soldiers parked her inside the door and then left.

"So, you stayed strong," he said as he started to undo the straps and assess her wounds.

"I know him." Her tone was dead; they had broken her. "But I did not tell them anything."

"So that's why they brought you here. This is all part of his training."

"We were engaged when he went off to war. This entire time I thought he was dead. He might as well be."

"I agree with you."

The sadness in Ellie's eyes crept into the doctor's heart.

"Is there a way for you to kill me? Before he has to?"

"If I did that, then they would kill me and I have my family to think about."

"I understand."

She knew she would have to face him again. All she had to remember is that her Bucky was, in fact, still dead. This new person would torture her again and she would try to face him with as much confidence as before until he broke everything within her.


	11. Chapter 11

_This chapter is short, but I felt like dragging it out and making it longer would lose the point and flow to the story._

Bucky was in pain; he was in more pain than he had ever felt before. They had not wiped his memory yet, so the interrogation with the woman was still fresh in his mind. He had run from the room as fast as he could, so she would not see the sheer terror on his face as his mind felt like it were being ripped apart. The name she had called him had struck something so deep within him that his mind wouldn't allow him to remember. The fact that it made him feel this way made him angrier than before. The soldiers chasing after him could barely keep up when he left the room. He pushed down both doctors and soldiers alike as they tried to stop him. One he flipped over his shoulder and heard his neck snap as he hit the floor, but that didn't matter, he had to get away. He started to feel very claustrophobic and began peeling away layers of his combat suit. He headed for a hallway he knew well; a hallway that would lead him outside. He crushed the soldier on guard's face into the wall and pulled on the locking wheel to the door until he heard the audible click of it unlocking. Sweet, cold air met his face and suddenly the pain in his head subsided. He walked out from under the protecting overhang of a cliff and stepped out into the deep snow and fell to his knees. He lifted his face to the sky and closed his eyes while taking a deep breath. The snow fell softly onto his face and for the first time in long time Bucky felt at peace. All he could hear was the dull roar of the snow falling and his breathing.

"Soldier," a commanding voice said behind him. Soldiers were now filing out of the opening and ruining his reverie. He ignored them anyway.

"What is he doing?" he heard someone whispering behind him.

"Don't go near him, he's already killed two of our own."

So the guard by the door was dead. Good.

He breathed deeply again and pretended none of them were there. He sat still for a few seconds more before standing and turning his most vile glare on the group of soldiers standing there. They all took a visible step backwards. He made a point to not make eye contact with any of them as he walked towards them and they all parted to let him through.

"Escort the Soldier back to his quarters."

He heard at least three soldiers make rank behind him as he went back the way he came. He stepped over the broken body of the doctor he had killed earlier without so much as a second glance. The guards outside of his room started to quickly unlock the door as he rounded the corner. He pushed past them and before slamming the door behind him he said, "I can undress myself."

The three stunned guards following him stood outside and all looked at one another. One of the guards outside of his door asked, "What did he do?"

"He snapped," one shuddered.

"Will they have to do anything about it?"

"I'm sure they'll wipe him once he's calmed down."

"What happened?"

"The woman they've been questioning called him by a name."

"What name?"

"I wasn't there. He just stormed out and started killing people and then ran outside."

They all stopped talking suddenly when they heard Bucky's sudden rage from inside the room. They quickly opened the door to find he had stripped every last bit of clothing off and was now throwing what little belongings he had across the room. His bed was upright in one corner and the nightstand was in pieces across the room. They all stood in the doorway too frightened to take a step inside. Bucky's screams of rage sounded like an animal in pain. His mind fought against him as he struggled to remember _anything_. He _wanted_ to remember. He wanted to remember any little bit of pain or feelings he had before his moment, but he simply couldn't. They had wiped his mind enough times that he lost everything before now.

"WHY?!" he suddenly screamed looking towards the group of men crowded around the door. They all looked at him, stunned, unable to answer his question.

Bucky dropped to his knees and began pulling at his hair and screaming again. A flood of doctors ran down the hallway and pushed past the guards at the door.

"Keep your guns drawn. If anything is to happen, you shoot. We'll consider this experiment a failure and move on."

The doctors were soon crowded around Bucky. One was drawing up a clear liquid into a syringe.

"We'll sedate him and then wipe him," one doctor stated to another.

"Why?" Bucky whispered again. He looked up into the doctor's face; tears started to prick at the corners of Bucky's eyes.

"It is for your own good," he said as he inserted the needle. Bucky sat static on his knees while he let the cold sensation of the sedative work through his veins. Anything was better than this feeling now.

When he awoke later he had no recollection of that morning's events; only a dull headache that he couldn't shake.

 _New York, S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters_

"I'm turning up no leads." Peggy was exasperated. She and her men were trying for weeks to find out where Thomas had taken Ellie to no avail. "If Steve were alive he would have pointed out something I haven't seen."

"Don't beat yourself up over it. You're trying as hard as you can," Howard said beside her. "Steve wasn't the only smart man to walk through those doors."

"Yes, but he didn't have on rose colored glasses when it came to the real world."

Howard had to agree with her on that. Steve did see the world for what it was.

"Maybe if we take a step back and look at it from another angle?" he asked.

"I've looked at it from front to back, side to side, and upside down. I'm growing increasingly frustrated because things like this aren't always this hard for me."

"He covered his tracks very well. Hydra is a devious bunch of people."

"That shouldn't be this hard to find."

"They very obviously don't want to be found."

 _Ellie_

The stitches in her back tugged her skin as she awoke and stretched. She let out a small cry of pain as one popped near her left shoulder and she felt the blood well up there.

The doctor hastily made his way into her room. "Are you okay?"

"A stitch popped again."

He turned her around to look at the open wound. "You have to remember not to move your arms so much. They will continue to open if you're not careful."

"I'm sorry," she said as she stared at her limp left hand.

"You'll be lucky if you get any use out of that hand again. He did a number on the ligaments in the top of your hand."

She stared at her ring finger; her engagement ring long gone.

"I figured as much," she said softly. "I wish he would have killed me then and there."

Ellie had recounted the events to the doctor a few days earlier while he was re-stitching the cut on her back.

"The response he had, you said he flinched when you called him Bucky."

"Yes."

"I believe his brain is trying to remember. I am no neurosurgeon, but what knowledge I have of the human brain, his response means that part of him hasn't forgotten who he originally was. I don't believe you can make someone forget without removing parts of the brain; I feel as if maybe the brain reroutes it to somewhere else; vaulted away if you will."

"Where ever his brain vaulted his memories is doing a very fine job of that."

"Maybe, before it is too late, he will remember."

"For his sake I hope he doesn't."

The doctor had to agree with her, but he did not voice his opinion on the matter. He wanted to have hope that the man she knew was still in there somewhere; the man he had seen afraid sitting on his table so long ago.


	12. Chapter 12

The days dragged on into weeks with Ellie never once leaving the room her and the doctor were confined to. She began to trust him and more and more and told him about her life with Bucky, the man he was, and his best friend Steve. She cried for them both many times while telling her story and each time the doctor would comfort her. He never gave anything away about his life outside of the facility.

"I knew he was kind in a past life," the doctor said.

"He was the most kind," Ellie said between sobs. "He always lit up a room with his presence and he always knew how to make me smile. I don't know what's worse; thinking he was dead all this time or finding out he's alive and he has no idea who he is."

"You had gotten used to the fact that he was gone. Now that you know he is alive I'm sure you feel relief, but at the same time there is pain for lost memory. My grandfather died from dementia when I was very young. When did not know it was dementia until a doctor discovered it years later, but looking back, that's exactly what it was. I used to go to his home every weekend and we would pick oranges from his orchard." When Ellie gazed at the doctor she could see in his eyes that he was no longer in the facility, but somewhere far off, in another simpler time. "He began to forget simple things like where his glasses were he just had a moment ago or if someone had visited him the day before. Then he started to think my grandmother was still alive and would ask me to go fetch her. As a young boy I was stunned and did not understand. He soon was confined to his bed with a nurse at his side at all times. I would still go on the weekends, but he would look at me and I could tell he was trying to place where he had seen me before. He forgot me first; his constant companion." The doctor looked down at his hands. "The day he died he woke up from a nap, said my name, and asked if I were there to pick oranges today. I was so happy that he remembered me that I said, 'Yes, Papa, we are going to the orchard later to pick your oranges.' He died later that evening." He stopped and placed a hand over Ellie's. "I know what it is like to love someone who has forgotten you, but you must not stop loving them. Their window into this world does not go very far and they cannot look back. We must be here, in the present, to help them remember who they are so that they might, at last, have peace."

Ellie had begun to cry and nodded her head in agreement. "I wish things had turned out so differently."

"I think we can all agree on that," he consented.

"He won't even remember torturing me the first two times."

"No, he won't. But I think that each time he sees you his mind will struggle to remember. This is their first test with someone from his past."

"I don't want him to remember. If he does he'll never be able to live with himself."

"For now, you have a friend here, until the very end."

"Thank you for your kindness."

"When I leave this world I want to know that even though I've done horrible things I tried my best to be good."

"You are and you have been. Thank you for taking care of Bucky and I."

The doctor only nodded his thanks to her. "Now," he said holding out his arm. "Shall we take a stroll around the room and exercise that leg?"

 _Bucky_

Bucky awoke angry and lost. He had a tight feeling in his chest and he felt he had just forgotten a dream he struggled to remember right before he woke up. In his mind he knew something terrible had happened to him emotionally, but he couldn't place the memory. This made him more frustrated as he screwed his eyes shut and tried to think back to the previous day.

His room had been put back into order before he woke up, so there was no clue to his outburst to jog his memory.

"Just think," he muttered to himself. "It has to be in there somewhere." The more he struggled to remember the worse his head hurt.

He heard the lock slide back on his door. He looked to the side as it opened and in the doorway stood the kind doctor. Bucky did not know it was the doctor who was kind to him, but he knew he had seen him somewhere.

"Soldier," the doctor said. Bucky noted that he didn't have the usual authoritative tone in his voice that most people had when they came to retrieve him. All he could remember was pain and fear in this place. "Would you like to take a walk?"

Bucky was surprised by the question. He had never once done anything besides endure the mental torture they inflicted upon him here. The doctor was wearing a heavy fur lined coat.

"Are we going outside?" Bucky asked. The tight ball in his chest released and he was able to breathe normally. Something about the thought of going outside relaxed him.

"If you would like," he said.

"Am I allowed?"

Bucky did not miss the change from mild curiosity to sadness in the man's eyes. "Of course you are."

He was quick to put on his outside gear and followed the doctor down the hallway.

"Is this for a mission?"

"This is for your sanity."

Bucky didn't question him. The thought of going outside gave him an excitement he hadn't felt before.

The doctor nodded to the guard by the door and he unlocked it and let them through.

"Stay here, I'll be fine," the doctor said to the guard. The guard nodded and shut the door behind them.

The doctor watched as Bucky slowly walked out into the snow with his face towards the sky. He saw a look on his face that was a complete serenity he had never seen on him before. In this moment he saw the Bucky Ellie always talked about. All the lines from his face were smoothed out and he breathed deeply as the cold wind hit his face.

"How do you feel?" the doctor asked.

Bucky opened his eyes and slowly turned to look at the doctor. His brow furrowed for a moment in thought and then he said, "Peaceful."

The doctor was relieved. He may not have been able to bring peace to Ellie, but maybe this news would be something to bring back to her.

"Do you remember anything about your life?"

Bucky's brow furrowed again. "No."

"Do you want to remember?"

"Sometimes."

"Do you like what you do here?"

"I'm here to bring peace. Why wouldn't I like it?" The doctor could tell that as Bucky said the words he was torn inside by other thoughts. He knew he was unsure of everything he did because he couldn't remember.

"But do you like what you do?"

Bucky had never been asked about his feelings before so this was an entirely new question for him. "I…think so."

"Do you remember your missions from the past few days and weeks?"

"No, should I?" Bucky's face showed a mixed array of emotions. The doctor saw hope, fear, and something else he couldn't quite place.

"You've been questioning an operative from S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Why wouldn't they let me remember that?"

"Maybe they don't want you to know the information she's giving."

"She?"

"Yes, a woman. Brought here and tortured for information."

"And I tortured her?"

"Yes."

Bucky began to breathe heavily. "I thought I was their weapon to bring peace?"

"Did you just hear what you said? You're a _weapon_."

Bucky was a mass of confused thoughts. He could only piece together the here and now because that's all he had, right? The confusion was rising in him so quickly and so suddenly that he began to panic. He dropped to his knees in the snow and brought both fists down hard.

"Why can't I remember anything?!" he cried looking towards the doctor.

"They don't want you to. You are their most prized possession. If you started to feel anything besides what they wanted you to, then you would be a threat." The doctor quickly walked up to Bucky and went to his knees beside him. "They will come for you again and they will ask you to torture her. There must be something left in you that remembers who you are."

"I don't remember _anything_ ," Bucky said angrily. He got up and started to storm off along the cliff face. "I _never_ remember anything! I wake up every day feeling as if I should know something. There's always this nagging feeling at the back of my brain." He clutched his hair behind his head. "This nagging feeling that I've done something I should remember and I can't."

Bucky began to cry as he looked at the doctor.

"What can I do to remember?" he was pleading with the doctor now.

The doctor walked quickly to Bucky and placed both of his hands on his shoulders. Bucky was a good foot taller than him, but he still managed to be comforting.

"You must fight it, Bucky!" The doctor did not mean the slip. He stared at Bucky wide-eyed, afraid of how he might react.

A pain shot through Bucky's skull and dropped to his knees once more as he cried out in pain.

"What did you call me?" he asked when the pain subsided and he was able to look into the doctor's shocked face again.

"It was a slip. Someone I knew." His mind was fumbling. He had messed up. Bucky could tell he was in a panic. His ability to read people surpassed what the doctors here knew.

"It was someone I knew, too, or it wouldn't have hurt so badly." He sat for a second in the snow while looking out at the expansive mountains. "Was that my name?"

The doctor sighed. He had messed up and there was no way around it. "Yes. Before you came here that was your name."

"Why did they take it from me?" He turned pleading eyes towards the doctor. He could see the turmoil in them as his mind reeled to remember something.

"So that you would be subordinate."

"I probably would have done what they said, if they had been honest."

"I don't think you would have."

"Who was I? Before this."

"I don't think you're ready for that information."

"They'll just take it from me anyway."

The doctor was deeply saddened by his comment. He was wiser and more privy to the mental torture inflicted on him than he had previously thought. He had assumed the mind wipes left nothing for him to even ponder about, but it was obvious it had been weighing on him for quite some time.

"Please," Bucky beseeched softly.

"They'll come looking for you soon."

"Just tell me what you know."

The doctor resigned himself to what he was about to do and sat on a rock nearby. "What I've learned about you I've learned from Ellie."

"Ellie?"

"The woman they've been questioning."

"You mean the woman I've been torturing."

The doctor ignored his comment and continued. "Your name is James Buchanan Barnes and you were born in 1925 and you have a sister, Rebecca. You stayed on at Camp Lehigh when your parents died and that's where you met your best friend, Steve Rogers." Bucky was listening intently at this point; hanging on to every word the doctor said. "You met Ellie in 1943 and you were engaged before you shipped off to war. She believed you had died, along with Steve, until now."

Bucky was visibly shaken. He started to tremble all over as the realization struck just how far they had gone to test him.

"We were engaged?"

"Yes."

"So," he brought his hands to his face. "She knows me."

"And only wishes the best for you. She already asked me to kill her so you wouldn't have to but I can't. She had hoped you wouldn't remember at all because when you kill her she wants you to be at as much peace as possible."

"But now I know. I won't do it…for her."

"You will do it because they will wipe you again and you won't remember."

"BUT I HAVE TO!" Bucky was angry again. "They can't just take this from me!"

"They can and they will and they _have_. There is no way for me to help you."

"Why are you telling me this then?"

"Because I'm hoping that some part of you in there will fix itself and you will be able to figure this out on your own before it's too late. Trust in yourself, Sergeant Barnes." The doctor walked towards Bucky and placed his hand on the side of his face. "Trust in your _mind_. The mind is a wonderful thing when allowed to work freely to fix itself. Trust in yourself to remember in your time of need."

Bucky nodded while remaining transfixed on the doctor's face.

"I will remember and I'm going to leave this place."

All the doctor could do was manage a small smile. "I hope you do."


	13. Chapter 13

Bucky's mind was wiped as soon as the doctor left him in his room later that evening. When he awoke later he did not remember his conversation with the doctor; only the same pain in his head that let him know there was something there he had previously forgotten.

 _Ellie_

"I told him about you," the doctor confessed that evening.

Ellie choked on the bread she was eating. "Why would you do that?"

"He won't remember once they wipe him. He practically begged me to tell him. I was hoping that maybe if I jogged his memory a little he would start to fix himself. Only time will tell I suppose."

"Did he…remember me?"

"No." He could tell Ellie was disappointed and relieved. "But he felt remorse knowing that you were once engaged and now he was forced to torture you. He was adamant that he would remember when the time came and he would stop the torture and leave this place."

"I still hope he doesn't, but I would like to see him leave here."

"What do you hope for yourself, Ellie?"

She was taken aback by the question. "At first, I was hoping there would be a way out or that someone would save me, but now, I just hope it's quick."

The doctor knew to what she was referring. He also had the same hopes, but part of him wanted to believe they would let him go home to his family once his job was done; if it would ever be done.

Ellie's cut on her back finally healed and she was able to walk, albeit with a limp, when they came for her again.

She held her head up and refused the doctor's help when she stood bravely from her chair. She walked with as much grace as she could muster towards the guards before saying, "Gentlemen." She gestured towards the door, being as polite as she sarcastically could. She turned towards the doctor before exiting the room.

"I hope you're right," was all she said. He knew she was referencing the hope that Bucky's mind would fix itself.

She limped between the guards down the hallway. "Didn't bother blindfolding me this time?"

"They didn't deem it necessary," the one behind her muttered.

"That's comforting."

The guard behind her butted the tip of his gun into her back. "You should watch what you say."

"If I'm dying why bother watching what I say?"

The guard didn't argue her point as they delivered her to the room. She sat down in the chair without question and sat still while they adjusted the straps around her hands and feet. At least this was a step up from the uncomfortable rope. She opened her mouth to receive the gag.

"Since your little slip up from last time we can't have you talking again." The same man who was always there questioning her stood in the corner by the light. "The Soldier will be here soon."

Ellie's heart leapt. Part of her wanted to see his face; to gaze upon the face she thought she'd never seen again, but also her heart leapt because she was afraid. This Soldier, as they called him, would not remember his plea to the doctor, her, or his hopes of leaving. He would only remember his yearning to please his handlers.

No less than five minutes later Bucky stepped into the room. He stood at full height before her, more intimidating as ever. She looked up into his eyes searching for any recognition he might have had there and found none. He flinched ever so slightly, but Ellie missed it.

 _Bucky and Ellie_

He was ordered to the room once more. His mind started to put certain memories together. He had done this before. He started to feel relieved that he remembered and when his mind relaxed a flood of other memories began to fill his mind like water in a tub. He remembered the first time he tortured the woman and how proud he felt. His mind flashed to another day where he was on his knees crying out to the guards for answers. His body relaxed when his mind wandered to a day outside, the cold breeze hitting his face. The kind doctor sat beside him urging him to remember and never to forget. His breath caught in his throat when he stood before the door again, but his body posture was relaxed as ever. He was trained in the art of stealth and illusion after all. The door swung open to allow him inside. He walked in and stood before the woman. She looked up into his eyes and he just stared back. Her face brought back another wave of memories. The snap of her leg filled his mind once more and a picture image of her lying prone on the floor burned into the forefront of his mind. But something else flashed there, too, just for a second…she was there before him on a sunny day in a navy dress, smiling. He knew her before this. With that realization a sharp pain lanced through his skull and he flinched slightly. He would not let them see any signs of weakness, but in this moment he was desperate to get out and something inside of him told him she was a priority.

"Are you ready to begin?" the man in the corner questioned.

Bucky looked up now only just realizing he was in the room. He nodded curtly. He turned his head slightly to assess the number of men outside the door before it was closed. But how would he get out? Another memory flashed before his eyes of the doctor leading him down a hallway and outside.

He was in the shadows of the front of the room, so he silently pulled a handgun from his holster. When the attendee had seen him pick it up from the table earlier he had fitted it with a silencer. "No use in bursting your eardrums in there," he had said to Bucky.

"Now," the questioner began, "where is the location of your headquarters?"

Bucky knew she had been asked this question before. He also knew that each time they were here she was gagged.

"How do you expect her to talk?"

"Excuse me?"

"She has a gag. How do you expect her to talk?"

"You are here for _one_ thing only, Soldier, and it doesn't require your _opinion_."

Bucky shrugged slightly before bringing the gun up quicker than the man could realize what was happening and shot him between the eyes. He heard her gasp from the center of the room. He moved quickly to her and pulled the gag from her mouth.

"Who are you?" he whispered.

"I'm Ellie."

"Ellie," he said in a whisper again. He lowered his head in concentration. "Forgive me if I'm slow about this, but I know I knew you. Memories are coming back, but mostly the recent ones. The only one I have from before was-"

"Was what?"

"I just saw you standing before me in a blue dress. I couldn't have made that up, right?" He was looking back up at her again, but in the darkness it was hard to make out either's features.

"No," she silently sobbed. "No, Buck, you couldn't."

"I knew you and I've been here…torturing you. I'm so sorry."

"You didn't know."

"I knew what I was doing. I _wanted_ to."

Ellie ignored the comment for his sake. "Now what do we do?"

"I'm not sure. I'll have to take out the guards outside of the door and after that I don't know."

"We have to go back for the doctor. We have to get him out of here."

"The man that led me outside." It wasn't so much a question as it was an affirmation of his earlier memories.

"Can you undo my hands?"

Bucky quickly undid her right hand and moved to her left. When he undid the straps she picked it up slightly and he noticed it hung limply above the arm rest. She gasped and almost tore her hand away when he grabbed it. His touch turned gentle as her hand laid in his right hand and he brought up his left to touch the top of hers. He ran his fingers lightly over the scarring there.

"Did I do this?"

He saw her nod in the dark.

"Can you not use it at all?"

"The doctor doesn't think I will be able to. He said you tore many of the ligaments in there and he's limited on what he is able to do."

Bucky hastily stood up and barged to the corner of the room in a silent rage. The room went completely dark as he threw the single lamp against opposite wall. Ellie quickly reached down and undid the straps around her ankles before standing up.

"Buck?" she said to the darkness.

She could hear him breathing heavily somewhere farther away from her.

"Buck, are you okay?"

"No." He sounded very angry. Suddenly Ellie was afraid. Had something in his mind changed?

She didn't even feel him cross the room when he grabbed her by her upper arms.

"We have to get out of here," he said quickly. She noticed the strangeness of his touch on her right arm.

She pulled her upper body away from him so he would let go and brought her hand up to touch his upper arm. He pulled backwards to escape her touch, but when he realized she wasn't hurting him he stopped. Her hand met cold metal there.

"What did they do to you?"

This time she felt him take a step back in the darkness. "It was necessary. That's all I can remember."

"I'm not going to be much help with one hand." She chuckled a little hoping it would lighten his mood some. This new Bucky was like making a new friend all over again; she had to learn what his likes and dislikes were before she did much.

"I don't even need one of your hands to get us out of here." What exactly was he capable of doing? "I'm going to need you to step to the back of the room." He grabbed her by the shoulders again and led her farther back.

She could hear him move to the front of the room, but not much else. He knocked twice on the door as they had always had done to be let out. She winced as the light flooded the room, but did not miss Bucky coming out of the darkness as he grabbed the first guard, quickly brought him down and then finished off the second. All of it took place in the time span of maybe 15 seconds. She stood frozen to the spot. Bucky turned to her and held his hand out.

"Come on," he said. Seeing his face in full light transported her back to New York on sunny days in the park when he would hold out his hand to hers and in that instant she trusted him fully. She walked forward and stepped over the two guards.

"Did you kill them?"

"Of course. They'll know it's me when they find them anyway, so I might as well make it to where they can't talk."

She shuddered. This was an all new Bucky that would take time to understand.

"Where is the doctor?" he asked turning to her. He was all business as she saw the determination in his face.

"I can show you the way."

"You lead. If need be I can protect you from the front or the back."

As they made their way through the facility it was strangely quiet and empty.

"Are there usually a lot of people around?" Ellie whispered.

"I wouldn't know. I don't spend my days just walking around this place."

Before they came to the hallway they needed Ellie stopped and turned to Bucky. "There will be at least one guard outside of the door."

Bucky nodded and moved in front of her. He pulled a knife from a sheath on his thigh and slowly peered around the corner. He held his right arm out behind him, palm forward, to indicate that Ellie should stay put. She put her back against the wall and glanced back down the hallway they had come from. She expected to hear a fight, but all she heard was slight fumbling, a small cry, and a quiet thump before Bucky was back around the corner and beckoned Ellie to follow him. He had the door open in seconds and Ellie peered inside to see a very stunned doctor.

"We have to go," Bucky said gruffly.

The doctor moved forward cautiously. "He remembered."

Ellie nodded before glancing at Bucky. He was on high alert.

"They'll find us soon if we don't move quickly." Bucky now had a large assault rifle that he had taken off the guard.

"Lead us to a way out," Ellie said to the doctor.

"Then what? We'll freeze," the doctor said.

"How did any of them get here?"

"They'll have aircrafts of some type. They programmed flight plans and directions into my brain. I can tell you everything about them and where to go, but I've never flown one a day in my life."

Both Ellie and the doctor were stunned.

"They succeeded with you," the doctor said plainly.

"What is your name?" Bucky asked without a moment's hesitation.

The doctor seemed to be struggling with the information.

"My name is Alexi."

Ellie smiled at him, "Well, Alexi, we're getting you out of here."

They all slowly made their way back down the hallway. Bucky pointed to Alexi to lead the way while he had his gun at the ready to take down anyone who stood in their way. They surprisingly made their way to the outside door without running into anyone. Bucky incapacitated the guard at the door.

"Once outside we'll have to make our way around the cliff face to the right. There will be a hangar on the north side of the mountain. Visibility may be scarce so you need to keep as close as you can."

Both Ellie and Alexi nodded before Bucky opened the door. Cold air and snow whipped into the hallway. Bucky gestured for both of them to follow him out into the knee deep snow. As he had predicted, the wind was high and the snow flurries made it hard to see, but he knew exactly where he was going even if he had never been there before. Hydra should not have programmed so many of their secrets into him.

He had the hangar in sight when he heard the single round shot of a sniper. He had forgotten about the guards at their post outside; rotated every thirty minutes. He didn't feel any shots hit him so he turned in a panic to look straight into the wide eyes of Ellie. He swung the gun onto his back before grabbing Ellie by the shoulders.

"Are you okay?" he shouted above the wind.

She nodded. He moved her slightly to the left and noticed with sickening realization that the doctor was on his back, blood staining the snow. Ellie turned in his grip and cried out, "No!"

She dropped to her knees beside the dying man.

"Alexi!" She cried while picking up his hand. "You have to hold on!" She desperately looked at Bucky who stood scanning the mountainside for the sniper.

Another bullet ricocheted off a rock near Ellie. Bucky started to feel the anger rising in him. He pulled the gun off his back and readied it on his shoulder.

"Bucky please help me!" Ellie cried as she tried to lift the doctor.

He ignored her as his focus went to a figure that would have been invisible to anybody else. A soldier sat crouched in white combat gear aiming another shot in Ellie's direction. Bucky took a breath, held it, and took the shot. He watched with satisfaction as the soldier slumped to his side.

Alexi held a weak hand over Ellie's.

"Please find my family." He was difficult to hear over the roar of the wind, but Ellie had her ear close to his mouth.

"You can find them with us," Ellie cried.

"When you make it back, they will know."

"We have to get moving," Bucky said behind her.

"We can't leave him!"

"You have to go." Alexi's voice was barely audible now.

Bucky grabbed Ellie around the waist and pulled her up off the ground.

"NO!" she cried as she fought against Bucky. He walked off with her as if she weighed next to nothing and her protests did nothing to affect him.

Ellie sobbed as she pounded against Bucky's arm as they walked away and Alexi's prone form started to disappear into the snow. Bucky dropped her quickly right behind a boulder outside of the hangar before shouting, "Stay here!" She saw him retreat into the hangar and a few seconds later the sounds of gun shots rang out from inside. She covered her ears and tried to duck as best as she could beside the boulder in order to get out of the blinding snow. She was not anywhere near dressed for this. Cold started to creep up her feet and into her legs. They had started to go numb when she was roughly drug up by her arm. She panicked knowing that Bucky had been killed until she looked up and saw the same familiar stoic expression he always wore.

"We have to go," he said quickly. He half drug her to the aircraft that sat waiting in the hangar.

"Where will we go?" she asked once they were inside and he had the door closing.

"Anywhere but here."

He stalked towards the front of the aircraft. It was very similar to one she had been brought in, but much smaller.

"Can you strap yourself in?" Bucky asked her as she sat in the seat beside him.

"I have learned to manage with one hand."

He nodded and sat at the controls, turning the aircraft on. Bullets started to ping off the side of the aircraft.

"The rest of the facility knows. These aircraft are bulletproof to a certain extent. Good thing I know what I'm doing." He turned a half smile in Ellie's direction.

Before Ellie could finish with the harness Bucky had the aircraft in the air and out of the hangar.

"Where exactly are we, Bucky?" she asked once they were in the air.

Bucky had been watching the monitors to make sure they weren't being pursued.

"Siberia."

"Wow. Where will we go?"

"I was hoping you would have an answer to that," he said looking at her.

"New York," she said without a moment's hesitation. "They can help us there."

"S.H.I.E.L.D.?"

"Yes."

"I don't think they'll take kindly to a Hydra operative showing up on their doorstep."

"Peggy knows who you are. She'll be calling the shots on you and I'm sure she'll be willing to help."

"I hope you're right, Ellie."

Hearing him say her name again gave her a hope she hadn't felt in a long time. Maybe, just maybe, things would turn out okay.

But she knew things would never, ever be that easy.


End file.
